Almost a year! o.O"

Time flies. The last post was during d start of the year and now I'm posting a new one at almost d end of the year. And It's also 1 week before SPM!
WooOoOooooOoooOOOOooo~~ ==" Definitely not prepared!

The main reason why I'm blogging again is because I had problems with my mom AGAIN!
Throughout this whole year, my mom n I have been getting into alot of fights, and I mean A LOT.
There was once that we fought till the extend of not talking to her for almost 1 week?
We fought again today but for stupid reasons that she had to make a big deal out of it. =="
Sometimes I really wonder why I have such a mom.
When she's good, she can be good but not very. When she's bad, she very very very x100000 bad.

Today, it was all because of washing up dishes and she got all fired up. I have no idea what's going on inside that mentally insane head of hers.
She scolded my lil bro first and made him so damn pissed.
I <3 what my bro said to her. " I'm not your servant."
Well said bro! ^^ although I told her that before too.
But she will come back with this sentence " Well I'm not ur servant too."
Well, excuse me, we don't treat you like a servant. We just asks you for help because your ON YOUR WAY.
But for her, everytime we're doing something, she will asks us to do something else for her when she can do it herself.
Now who's treating who like a servant?

My mom asked me to bring the plates and cups in, I told her later because she wants ME to wash it; but my bro was still washing his stuff.
My bro was already pissed so I didn't want to trouble him to wash more.
But I don't know what was wrong with my mom's head, she wants everyone to do everything in an instance. Fuck woman! We not superman. =="
Btw, I was clipping my nails that time.

Then I just got so fed up of her nagging n scolding, I took d stuff to the back n my lil' bro washed it.
When I went back to the front, I was hoping she would have shut her mouth, but NOOOO~~~ as always, she continues to nag n scold n nag n scold n nag nag nag nag...
Then she said this " Every time you guys leave plates n cups on the table, who you expect to wash? "
I replied " I wash mine every time."
With this one sentence, she totally turn it 180 degree in her head.
She started hitting me and pinching me. Her nails were long, so she left a horrible scare on my thigh.
She thought that I meant I'll ONLY WASH MY STUFF.
but in reality, I meant ' I wash my dishes everytime I'm done with it. '
I tried to explain it to her, but as usual, I teared up cuz I just can't take being faulted.

Whenever I start getting teary, my head just goes blank, so I couldn't explain properly to her.
Then she says this like probably a million times
" Wash whatever you see there too, not only yours! "
I think she knew she had me wrong. BUT~~~~ Like the sore loser she is, she will NEVER ADMIT that she's wrong.
As long as I can remember, there was never once that she apologized to anyone.
I'm serious, NO ONE!
When ever she's playing n she injured someone (mostly me n my lil bro) she never apologize.
She'll just add sentence like " Who asked you to move? Its * not my fault* "
Yea... nothing is ever your fault. You are always right.

I've tried so hard to please her.
But sometimes she just really makes me wanna hit her.
She's still my mom so I can't really do so.
BUT DAMIT!! I WANNA HIT HER SO BADLY SOMETIMES!
especially when she couldn't keep her mouth shut.

gtg for tuition now.
YEY! gonna stay at bf's place tonight~~ whee~~
Gotta get away from that woman =="

Joline
5.11.11 - 5.36 P.m

2011, My wishes, my hopes , my words

It's already 2011!! It's SPM year!!!
But.. im not gonna let that take away my fun.
I do wish I could study better. lolx
been great with my boy, but not with my family.. T.T
I've used a ton of money since last year.
My party n my trip to taiwan.
This year, Im gonna spend more =="
tuitions, dance classes n more tuition..
I feel very very bad though..
but i am gonna repay my parents when im older.

Now,
My wishes
1.To study better
2. getting better results
3. Being able to pay my parents d money
4. Longer time to study =="
5. Knowing wad to study after f5
6. Being smarter
7. to be richer

My hopes
1. All A's for SPM!!!
2. Being better in my relationship
3. Getting a fitter body. XD
4. To be a better person
5. Enjoy life more
6. Choose the correct subjects to study by d end of this year
7. Dance more

Will post more if i think of more
but for now.. thats all ^^

Joline
6.1.11 - 6.52 p.m

Thursday n Friday

nothing was on much these 2 days.

Thrusday 4.11.10
Slept the whole afternoon at home.
Went to port klang for dinner.
It was my 4th aunts bday.
My dinner was at 9++ p.m
awesome right? like im not fat enuff d =="
called my dear n this time.. had a nice chat.
I was at the sea side cuz its a seafood restaurant.
Enjoying the breeze while enjoying a convo with my dear..
He made me happy today though.
No fights. ^^
We left about 1 ++ a.m
but later we went to a mamak shop in mutiara damansara, uncles place
we sat n had tea there until it was 2++a.m
I was sooo freaking tired!
Went home n knocked out straight away.

Friday 5.11.10
Deepavali!
I was woken up by the drilling of the neighbor again! =="
I hate it when that happens.
It was only like.. 10 am? so freaking early for a holiday!
Den went to my indian neighbor's place for brunch.
Had delicious indian foods.. XD
Later at 3, I went to my dad's friends place for deepavali visiting AGAIN.
n yeah.. I ate summore...
Damn! the tosei was delicious! XD
Walked with my baby Leo at 2pm + and another time at 5.30p.m
I was suppose to go for another visiting at night,
but.. i skipped cuz i was still full from d brunch n "LEA?" ( Lunch + Tea ) lol
When my fam got back,
My brothers n 2nd bro's gf n me,
we went to desa park city to take Leo for a walk..
Very unlucky day.. My slippers spoiled halfway...
It was soooo embarrasing~
but.. in d end I went to the car to wear my bro's slipper...
Seems like Leo worked out alot today.
He should be very very very tired..
Well... he is really un-fit
after every run he comes home n goes down right away.
Everyone that sees him will go like
" aww, so cute." ; "so small!" ; " Hello!" ;
" Is that a dog or a cat? "
n d funniest one i heard today
a guy was telling his daughter on a motorbike
" That's a cat la.. Is a cat."
WAHAHAHAHA!!!! It was so hard to control my laughter...

well I guess thats all for these 2 days,
told ja' nothing much for these 2 days..
till here..
too tired d..
toodles~

ps: I MISS HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!! ; counting down d days to his coming bak day..
3 more days!!!!

Joline
5.11.10 - 11.26p.m

tuesday n wednesday

I missed a post for these two days cuz i was too busy

Tuesday 2.11.10
Chinese exam going on in school, but luckily i dont take chinese XD
so i was playing volleyball and had port luck .
It was so freaking tiring after volleyball but I had to rush back home with jean n crystal to get ready to go 1u
We went to catch a bus at jln ara bus stop...
we waited like 30 or 40 minutes the bus only appeared.
Stupid buses!

We stayed at 1u until 10 pm.
imagine how painful our legs were.
and d worst thing is.. I was having my fuckin period! =="
we went around searching for jobs n stuff to complete our costume for jazz's party.
My mood was actually down in 1u,
I had no idea why.
Until my dear called... it freaking shocked me
It was such a surprise it increased my happiness lvl all the way to 100%
I guess thats about all on this day.

Wednesday 3.11.10
The official last day of exam.
Cyrstal, Jean n me went back to my house after school
cuz we need to prepare for jazz's party at night
we try make ups when we got home
den, we cooked the stuffs for d party
after cooking we went to bath n had our make ups done
we went to jazz's party at about 6.40p.m?

We reached there everyone was staring at us some kind..
it was cool tough..
I EVEN GOT A COMMENT FROM A LITTLE GIRL!
she said: "can i ask u something? that's a very nice n cute dress."
WOW!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!
It was more like a statement then a question, but anyway, not the point.
she complimented me!! i felt soooo happy!

We had dinner, we had chats, we had dancing
Had a great chat with shaun n han shen.
It's been so long since i last chatted with them.
It was really fun.
They always make me laugh.. ^^

but later that night,
around 10 something..
things started to change.
I shouldn have called him..
I regretted so much!
damn! I feel so embarrassed.
I cried at a party. WTF?!
but luckily there were left only my close friends.

Why does guys always hav to make girls cry?
Do u know how much it hurts?
Its like getting stab in the heart FOR MANY TIMES!

He's in Shang Hai.
As if im not worried enough..
I mean he's a type of guy who doesn't know he's limits.
Chat to any girl he finds pretty, gets their phone number?
helloo!!! girlfriend here!
Don't u rmb me?
But Im not here to accuse him that he did that in Shang Hai.
I hope not.
But I told him not to look at girls before he went and everytime I called I remind him
I told him this not to really ban him from looking at girls
I mean, I look at guys too. so..
I was just testing he's loyalty n he's faithfulness.
[ N when u look at girls, u're not suppose to tell ur gf u dumb ass! at least not when that girl is sittin there for dinner. u can tell after!
I look at guys n i never told it right infront of u.
especially not when d person is sitting right infront having dinner with us. ==" ]

Last night was the last straw.
I asked if he looked at girls,
he didn't answer, he just laughed.
Not only that, he said he'll talk about this when he get back.
WTF MUCH?!
If ur gf/bf told u this, what would u think?
probably he/she have something to hide right?

we haven't met for 3 days, n he did not even ask how i am over here.
He said he cared. yes I felt he cared when he scolded me bcz i went bak late from 1u n also stayed late at jazz's party.
but not even a how are you? are u having fun? doing ok there?
Everytime he called, its just to ask a favor from me to tell his sis this n that.
Don't you wanna talk to me?!
I asked him to chat with me, he said he didn't want to at first because it was expensive.
but I got angry then only he wanna chat with me.
N he did not say he wanted to willingly, he sounds pissed when he said he will chat.
I'm calling a china number, how can the money there be deducted?
isn't it suppose to be deducted from mine more?
even so,
1 min is maybe rm2?
but I called, and its not even 1 minute yet, cant we talk a lil more?
Isn't that more of a waste of money?
Im sorry if I spoiled ur mood over there.
I know im sort of a drama queen n I'm how u say "small gassed"
but Im like this bcuz i care n i want u to care.

U always say u love me, but u don't show
what's the use?
This is why I don't fall for the sweet talks, n why I never trust guys!
You know... I almost wanted to break up last night.
ALMOST! U were soooo close from touching d border line. like 0.1mm close.
But I can't cuz I don't know the truth of what u did there yet.
N I loved u too much to let u go.
I don't want to get hurt anymore ok?!
I have suffered enough from my ex bf n now you??
Pls don't let me live my life soo miserably.

You have changed so much for me,
You stopped smoking, stop hanging out with ur friends, stopped going to clubs
n a lil bit of ur manners.
why cant u use ur common sense?
Think of what to say before you say things.
N how you treat me? to tell you the truth.
sometimes I feel like i'm being used by you.

I've tolerated all these feelings for soo long
n i've said it all.
I want you to know how I feel, but i jz couldn't talk abt it in person
So.. i'm not hiding any secrets from you now.
Hope you're not too..
but I still do love you.
If u continue these unfaithful n in-loyal actions, I might not tolerate it anymore.
n it will be d end of our relationship.


Joline
4.11.10 - 10.47 a.m

Suppose-to-be happy day

1.11.10
Today is the last day of our f4's final exam.
Also, its my 5th month together with him..
I'm suppose to be happy, but sadly i'm not.

My boi departed to shang hai this morning at 8.10 am.
It's not even a day yet, and i'm already missing him like crazy.
Wonder how i could survive this week...
I miss his voice everytime he call
12.30 p.m
3.oo p.m
6.30 p.m
and later at night.
the times he usually call... I won't get for a week.
I felt so wierd n lonely somehow
when it's 3pm..
I would always wait for his phone call at this hour.
but today, n probably for this whole week, i'm not getting it..

Im really hopin he's missing me as much as I miss him.
but also having a great time there but not by looking at girls ==" (*lol* jealousy*)
I really wish I could go.. but my parents just don't trust us together.. "oh well.."

Everytime I see our pup..
All that's in my head is him..
Wondering what he's doing, what he's thinking n can't wait to see him soon again..
"oh gee , oh my"
This is d first time I'm missing someone soooo badly!

Alil bit of my day (jz incase my darling wants 2 know)
got a morning call from u n was sad because knowing that you're gonna leave soon.
called again n again n finally before i reach school, the last call.
In school, i wanted to msg u. but I had assembly
When I came up and saw ur msg, it was already 8.15 or 8.30
you have already left.
I cried a lil , i quickly replied u hoping u would get d msg.
I am really missing you...
I almost cried a few times in school..
n I cried awhile at home.
Oh! I stayed back awhile with Jean n Crystal n Kah Wei to talk about some stuff.

I got home, d first thing I did was ran up to my room to check my other phone if there was any msgs.
but sadly there weren't. A drop of tear came falling down on my cheeks, thinking that u have forgotten me.
But how silly of me.
When I got a call from u later. I sprung out of my chair.
I quickly ran up to call u back
When u picked up, I was sooooo happy to hear your voice.
N to know that u landed safely, I was even happier.

N after that I just continued watching movie n missing u of course..
n now I'm writing this blog.
so.. this is about it for now..
Anything happens at night will be blogged tmr. ^^

Hope he's safe n happy there..
n not doing wad he's not suppose to do.
I miss him like mad ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joline
1.11.10 - 4.40 p.m

alil of everything

Had my bday party early this year..
Held it last saturday (9.10.10)

It was awesome to have a party!
but.. it was also very very tiring...
I saw a helpful side of him tat night..
how good he was...
but... he was drunk.. so...

He did lie to me again that night..
was sad... still alil now..
but... gotta forgive n forget..
hopefully he wont do it again la.. Though I told him alot of times n he promised thousands of times.
Come to think of it.. he do break quite alot of promises.
i seriously cant take it if he continues to do that...
drinking is ok...
but not so much n so late at night..
smoke once in awhile.. i dun really mind
but more than 1 a day.. Im already starting to mind.
What else to say if you take even more than 1?

I seriously dun like his group of friends..
why are guys always like that?
they tend to think smoking is cool?
smoking releases stress??
drinking till 4am/later or clubbing is fun??
I say all these are bullshit!
I really want to say F**K U ALL who thinks like this...
BUT unfortunately... I Cant.. cz my bf is one.. sad case

smoking shortens ur life.
it does not release stress.. it might, mayb jz for a moment..
but d stress still wont go away will it?
and if u continue smoking, ur stress becomes bigger n harder to solve
when u get admitted to the hospital, u nid to pay d bills.
You would wonder if u would live or die..
You would also wonder if u could see ur love ones again.
isnt that more stressful?

How abt drinking too much? Worst if it's till the late nights.
You get drunk n might do wrong stuff.. Get beaten up, Lose ur pride, n what else? maybe.. DIE?
if till late night... u might be caught by the policeman,but this is not a big deal.
WHAT IF U GET INTO AN ACCIDENT ?! n can never see the world again.

WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS USE UR BRAINS N COMMON SENSE MORE?!

Some would say nothing can happen..they wont get drunk n will be very careful.
HEY! DUDE! WAKE UP! CAN U ARRANGE AN ACCIDENT?!
n u wont know if ur drunk or not!
even if u are careful.. OTHERS MIGHT NOT BE!

Why cant u guys take care of urself more??
If u wanna die early..
WHY NOT JUST JUMP OFF A CLIFF?!
At least that way u wont put other ppl in danger..
n u will be doing this world AND ME a favor!!!

Do u think other ppl dun have stress?
EVERYONE HAVE! EVEN ME! but do u see me smoking??
I don't wanna waste my life like that...
Cuz that is just stupid!!!
I wanna enjoy my life healthily with proper fun n happiness.
Travel the world with my love ones.
Be disease free!

Don't u guys listen to the news?
Or those awareness campaign?
I DON'T, BUT I STILL KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO!

Im not only saying abt guys.. some girls are like this too..
those stupid ones..

I have alot to say, but can't really think of it now...
I will post it when i thought of it..
I really hope u will change.. not only for me, but urself.
You may think Im annoying asking u to change n all..
I know I should like the way u are..
But.. its because I care too much about u..
If u meant nothing to me.. I wouldn't even care!
Die if u want.. its none of my business...
But ur not.. ur everything to me...
so i couldn't just let u go n harm urself like that..

Please do understand how i feel...

ps: party pics will be uploaded when i receive them from ANDRE!

Joline
11.10.10 - 10.28 am

Condolence to my dear friend

May u R.I.P zhi qi..
I will always rmb u..
how I wish i could jz see u again!
I was really hoping to see u at my party...
Pls Qi! wake up! i wanna hear ur voice n laughter again!
WE ALL DO!!!

- Joline -
27.9.10 - 4.30 pm