tuesday n wednesday

I missed a post for these two days cuz i was too busy

Tuesday 2.11.10
Chinese exam going on in school, but luckily i dont take chinese XD
so i was playing volleyball and had port luck .
It was so freaking tiring after volleyball but I had to rush back home with jean n crystal to get ready to go 1u
We went to catch a bus at jln ara bus stop...
we waited like 30 or 40 minutes the bus only appeared.
Stupid buses!

We stayed at 1u until 10 pm.
imagine how painful our legs were.
and d worst thing is.. I was having my fuckin period! =="
we went around searching for jobs n stuff to complete our costume for jazz's party.
My mood was actually down in 1u,
I had no idea why.
Until my dear called... it freaking shocked me
It was such a surprise it increased my happiness lvl all the way to 100%
I guess thats about all on this day.

Wednesday 3.11.10
The official last day of exam.
Cyrstal, Jean n me went back to my house after school
cuz we need to prepare for jazz's party at night
we try make ups when we got home
den, we cooked the stuffs for d party
after cooking we went to bath n had our make ups done
we went to jazz's party at about 6.40p.m?

We reached there everyone was staring at us some kind..
it was cool tough..
I EVEN GOT A COMMENT FROM A LITTLE GIRL!
she said: "can i ask u something? that's a very nice n cute dress."
WOW!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!
It was more like a statement then a question, but anyway, not the point.
she complimented me!! i felt soooo happy!

We had dinner, we had chats, we had dancing
Had a great chat with shaun n han shen.
It's been so long since i last chatted with them.
It was really fun.
They always make me laugh.. ^^

but later that night,
around 10 something..
things started to change.
I shouldn have called him..
I regretted so much!
damn! I feel so embarrassed.
I cried at a party. WTF?!
but luckily there were left only my close friends.

Why does guys always hav to make girls cry?
Do u know how much it hurts?
Its like getting stab in the heart FOR MANY TIMES!

He's in Shang Hai.
As if im not worried enough..
I mean he's a type of guy who doesn't know he's limits.
Chat to any girl he finds pretty, gets their phone number?
helloo!!! girlfriend here!
Don't u rmb me?
But Im not here to accuse him that he did that in Shang Hai.
I hope not.
But I told him not to look at girls before he went and everytime I called I remind him
I told him this not to really ban him from looking at girls
I mean, I look at guys too. so..
I was just testing he's loyalty n he's faithfulness.
[ N when u look at girls, u're not suppose to tell ur gf u dumb ass! at least not when that girl is sittin there for dinner. u can tell after!
I look at guys n i never told it right infront of u.
especially not when d person is sitting right infront having dinner with us. ==" ]

Last night was the last straw.
I asked if he looked at girls,
he didn't answer, he just laughed.
Not only that, he said he'll talk about this when he get back.
WTF MUCH?!
If ur gf/bf told u this, what would u think?
probably he/she have something to hide right?

we haven't met for 3 days, n he did not even ask how i am over here.
He said he cared. yes I felt he cared when he scolded me bcz i went bak late from 1u n also stayed late at jazz's party.
but not even a how are you? are u having fun? doing ok there?
Everytime he called, its just to ask a favor from me to tell his sis this n that.
Don't you wanna talk to me?!
I asked him to chat with me, he said he didn't want to at first because it was expensive.
but I got angry then only he wanna chat with me.
N he did not say he wanted to willingly, he sounds pissed when he said he will chat.
I'm calling a china number, how can the money there be deducted?
isn't it suppose to be deducted from mine more?
even so,
1 min is maybe rm2?
but I called, and its not even 1 minute yet, cant we talk a lil more?
Isn't that more of a waste of money?
Im sorry if I spoiled ur mood over there.
I know im sort of a drama queen n I'm how u say "small gassed"
but Im like this bcuz i care n i want u to care.

U always say u love me, but u don't show
what's the use?
This is why I don't fall for the sweet talks, n why I never trust guys!
You know... I almost wanted to break up last night.
ALMOST! U were soooo close from touching d border line. like 0.1mm close.
But I can't cuz I don't know the truth of what u did there yet.
N I loved u too much to let u go.
I don't want to get hurt anymore ok?!
I have suffered enough from my ex bf n now you??
Pls don't let me live my life soo miserably.

You have changed so much for me,
You stopped smoking, stop hanging out with ur friends, stopped going to clubs
n a lil bit of ur manners.
why cant u use ur common sense?
Think of what to say before you say things.
N how you treat me? to tell you the truth.
sometimes I feel like i'm being used by you.

I've tolerated all these feelings for soo long
n i've said it all.
I want you to know how I feel, but i jz couldn't talk abt it in person
So.. i'm not hiding any secrets from you now.
Hope you're not too..
but I still do love you.
If u continue these unfaithful n in-loyal actions, I might not tolerate it anymore.
n it will be d end of our relationship.


Joline
4.11.10 - 10.47 a.m