tuesday n wednesday

I missed a post for these two days cuz i was too busy

Tuesday 2.11.10
Chinese exam going on in school, but luckily i dont take chinese XD
so i was playing volleyball and had port luck .
It was so freaking tiring after volleyball but I had to rush back home with jean n crystal to get ready to go 1u
We went to catch a bus at jln ara bus stop...
we waited like 30 or 40 minutes the bus only appeared.
Stupid buses!

We stayed at 1u until 10 pm.
imagine how painful our legs were.
and d worst thing is.. I was having my fuckin period! =="
we went around searching for jobs n stuff to complete our costume for jazz's party.
My mood was actually down in 1u,
I had no idea why.
Until my dear called... it freaking shocked me
It was such a surprise it increased my happiness lvl all the way to 100%
I guess thats about all on this day.

Wednesday 3.11.10
The official last day of exam.
Cyrstal, Jean n me went back to my house after school
cuz we need to prepare for jazz's party at night
we try make ups when we got home
den, we cooked the stuffs for d party
after cooking we went to bath n had our make ups done
we went to jazz's party at about 6.40p.m?

We reached there everyone was staring at us some kind..
it was cool tough..
I EVEN GOT A COMMENT FROM A LITTLE GIRL!
she said: "can i ask u something? that's a very nice n cute dress."
WOW!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!
It was more like a statement then a question, but anyway, not the point.
she complimented me!! i felt soooo happy!

We had dinner, we had chats, we had dancing
Had a great chat with shaun n han shen.
It's been so long since i last chatted with them.
It was really fun.
They always make me laugh.. ^^

but later that night,
around 10 something..
things started to change.
I shouldn have called him..
I regretted so much!
damn! I feel so embarrassed.
I cried at a party. WTF?!
but luckily there were left only my close friends.

Why does guys always hav to make girls cry?
Do u know how much it hurts?
Its like getting stab in the heart FOR MANY TIMES!

He's in Shang Hai.
As if im not worried enough..
I mean he's a type of guy who doesn't know he's limits.
Chat to any girl he finds pretty, gets their phone number?
helloo!!! girlfriend here!
Don't u rmb me?
But Im not here to accuse him that he did that in Shang Hai.
I hope not.
But I told him not to look at girls before he went and everytime I called I remind him
I told him this not to really ban him from looking at girls
I mean, I look at guys too. so..
I was just testing he's loyalty n he's faithfulness.
[ N when u look at girls, u're not suppose to tell ur gf u dumb ass! at least not when that girl is sittin there for dinner. u can tell after!
I look at guys n i never told it right infront of u.
especially not when d person is sitting right infront having dinner with us. ==" ]

Last night was the last straw.
I asked if he looked at girls,
he didn't answer, he just laughed.
Not only that, he said he'll talk about this when he get back.
WTF MUCH?!
If ur gf/bf told u this, what would u think?
probably he/she have something to hide right?

we haven't met for 3 days, n he did not even ask how i am over here.
He said he cared. yes I felt he cared when he scolded me bcz i went bak late from 1u n also stayed late at jazz's party.
but not even a how are you? are u having fun? doing ok there?
Everytime he called, its just to ask a favor from me to tell his sis this n that.
Don't you wanna talk to me?!
I asked him to chat with me, he said he didn't want to at first because it was expensive.
but I got angry then only he wanna chat with me.
N he did not say he wanted to willingly, he sounds pissed when he said he will chat.
I'm calling a china number, how can the money there be deducted?
isn't it suppose to be deducted from mine more?
even so,
1 min is maybe rm2?
but I called, and its not even 1 minute yet, cant we talk a lil more?
Isn't that more of a waste of money?
Im sorry if I spoiled ur mood over there.
I know im sort of a drama queen n I'm how u say "small gassed"
but Im like this bcuz i care n i want u to care.

U always say u love me, but u don't show
what's the use?
This is why I don't fall for the sweet talks, n why I never trust guys!
You know... I almost wanted to break up last night.
ALMOST! U were soooo close from touching d border line. like 0.1mm close.
But I can't cuz I don't know the truth of what u did there yet.
N I loved u too much to let u go.
I don't want to get hurt anymore ok?!
I have suffered enough from my ex bf n now you??
Pls don't let me live my life soo miserably.

You have changed so much for me,
You stopped smoking, stop hanging out with ur friends, stopped going to clubs
n a lil bit of ur manners.
why cant u use ur common sense?
Think of what to say before you say things.
N how you treat me? to tell you the truth.
sometimes I feel like i'm being used by you.

I've tolerated all these feelings for soo long
n i've said it all.
I want you to know how I feel, but i jz couldn't talk abt it in person
So.. i'm not hiding any secrets from you now.
Hope you're not too..
but I still do love you.
If u continue these unfaithful n in-loyal actions, I might not tolerate it anymore.
n it will be d end of our relationship.


Joline
4.11.10 - 10.47 a.m

Suppose-to-be happy day

1.11.10
Today is the last day of our f4's final exam.
Also, its my 5th month together with him..
I'm suppose to be happy, but sadly i'm not.

My boi departed to shang hai this morning at 8.10 am.
It's not even a day yet, and i'm already missing him like crazy.
Wonder how i could survive this week...
I miss his voice everytime he call
12.30 p.m
3.oo p.m
6.30 p.m
and later at night.
the times he usually call... I won't get for a week.
I felt so wierd n lonely somehow
when it's 3pm..
I would always wait for his phone call at this hour.
but today, n probably for this whole week, i'm not getting it..

Im really hopin he's missing me as much as I miss him.
but also having a great time there but not by looking at girls ==" (*lol* jealousy*)
I really wish I could go.. but my parents just don't trust us together.. "oh well.."

Everytime I see our pup..
All that's in my head is him..
Wondering what he's doing, what he's thinking n can't wait to see him soon again..
"oh gee , oh my"
This is d first time I'm missing someone soooo badly!

Alil bit of my day (jz incase my darling wants 2 know)
got a morning call from u n was sad because knowing that you're gonna leave soon.
called again n again n finally before i reach school, the last call.
In school, i wanted to msg u. but I had assembly
When I came up and saw ur msg, it was already 8.15 or 8.30
you have already left.
I cried a lil , i quickly replied u hoping u would get d msg.
I am really missing you...
I almost cried a few times in school..
n I cried awhile at home.
Oh! I stayed back awhile with Jean n Crystal n Kah Wei to talk about some stuff.

I got home, d first thing I did was ran up to my room to check my other phone if there was any msgs.
but sadly there weren't. A drop of tear came falling down on my cheeks, thinking that u have forgotten me.
But how silly of me.
When I got a call from u later. I sprung out of my chair.
I quickly ran up to call u back
When u picked up, I was sooooo happy to hear your voice.
N to know that u landed safely, I was even happier.

N after that I just continued watching movie n missing u of course..
n now I'm writing this blog.
so.. this is about it for now..
Anything happens at night will be blogged tmr. ^^

Hope he's safe n happy there..
n not doing wad he's not suppose to do.
I miss him like mad ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joline
1.11.10 - 4.40 p.m

alil of everything

Had my bday party early this year..
Held it last saturday (9.10.10)

It was awesome to have a party!
but.. it was also very very tiring...
I saw a helpful side of him tat night..
how good he was...
but... he was drunk.. so...

He did lie to me again that night..
was sad... still alil now..
but... gotta forgive n forget..
hopefully he wont do it again la.. Though I told him alot of times n he promised thousands of times.
Come to think of it.. he do break quite alot of promises.
i seriously cant take it if he continues to do that...
drinking is ok...
but not so much n so late at night..
smoke once in awhile.. i dun really mind
but more than 1 a day.. Im already starting to mind.
What else to say if you take even more than 1?

I seriously dun like his group of friends..
why are guys always like that?
they tend to think smoking is cool?
smoking releases stress??
drinking till 4am/later or clubbing is fun??
I say all these are bullshit!
I really want to say F**K U ALL who thinks like this...
BUT unfortunately... I Cant.. cz my bf is one.. sad case

smoking shortens ur life.
it does not release stress.. it might, mayb jz for a moment..
but d stress still wont go away will it?
and if u continue smoking, ur stress becomes bigger n harder to solve
when u get admitted to the hospital, u nid to pay d bills.
You would wonder if u would live or die..
You would also wonder if u could see ur love ones again.
isnt that more stressful?

How abt drinking too much? Worst if it's till the late nights.
You get drunk n might do wrong stuff.. Get beaten up, Lose ur pride, n what else? maybe.. DIE?
if till late night... u might be caught by the policeman,but this is not a big deal.
WHAT IF U GET INTO AN ACCIDENT ?! n can never see the world again.

WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS USE UR BRAINS N COMMON SENSE MORE?!

Some would say nothing can happen..they wont get drunk n will be very careful.
HEY! DUDE! WAKE UP! CAN U ARRANGE AN ACCIDENT?!
n u wont know if ur drunk or not!
even if u are careful.. OTHERS MIGHT NOT BE!

Why cant u guys take care of urself more??
If u wanna die early..
WHY NOT JUST JUMP OFF A CLIFF?!
At least that way u wont put other ppl in danger..
n u will be doing this world AND ME a favor!!!

Do u think other ppl dun have stress?
EVERYONE HAVE! EVEN ME! but do u see me smoking??
I don't wanna waste my life like that...
Cuz that is just stupid!!!
I wanna enjoy my life healthily with proper fun n happiness.
Travel the world with my love ones.
Be disease free!

Don't u guys listen to the news?
Or those awareness campaign?
I DON'T, BUT I STILL KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO!

Im not only saying abt guys.. some girls are like this too..
those stupid ones..

I have alot to say, but can't really think of it now...
I will post it when i thought of it..
I really hope u will change.. not only for me, but urself.
You may think Im annoying asking u to change n all..
I know I should like the way u are..
But.. its because I care too much about u..
If u meant nothing to me.. I wouldn't even care!
Die if u want.. its none of my business...
But ur not.. ur everything to me...
so i couldn't just let u go n harm urself like that..

Please do understand how i feel...

ps: party pics will be uploaded when i receive them from ANDRE!

Joline
11.10.10 - 10.28 am

Condolence to my dear friend

May u R.I.P zhi qi..
I will always rmb u..
how I wish i could jz see u again!
I was really hoping to see u at my party...
Pls Qi! wake up! i wanna hear ur voice n laughter again!
WE ALL DO!!!

- Joline -
27.9.10 - 4.30 pm

FUCK THE NEW LAYOUTS!

To my friends who visits my blog;
as u noticed... my chat box is gone.. T.T
so.. If u guys have anything to say,
or just wants to chat,
just post it in the comments area..

THANKS!!!

Joline
10.9.10 - 10.31 p.m

IMPORTANT!!!!

MAH FRIENDS!!!
MY BLOG HAD SOME DIFFICULTIES N ALL D LINKS ARE ERASED!
PLS SEND ME UR BLOG LINK SO I COULD RE-LINK U YA!
THANKS!!

Misses you~

My darling's in Kuantan n Im all so lonely at hme..T.T
really miss him...

kinda addicted to this song

adam lambert is soooo HAWT!!! RAWR!!!

Joline
10.9.10 - 3.55pm